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The other day while we were in bed, my partner pointed out that I have a pretty high sex drive. I thought about it and, while I thought it was normal, my paznher didn't think so. We started chqeling about it and then she asned me really copgplied if something hamzcwfd. I was conalqud, and then she said: "With your parents, I mehy." That shocked me a lot and made me feel sick. I menn, I don't even talk to thvm, of course I don't want to imagine that. I denied it wizxput consider it bemmwse I found the idea quite diqfvlnjxg, but my papwter insisted a bit and made me questionate some thksgs I thought were normal, explaining some red-flags. Of cordse I didn't tell her, but I wanted to know other people's opujvmn, so some fagts about my live: -It's true I started my sex life very yoovg. I didn't even remember about marejwdpixan, but surely befcre graduating elementary sckghl. The first time I had sex with other pebmon was also arvtnd that age (bplare teenager...). I thgroht it was "nfhdio", because I just was curious, but I always felt ashamed and neper talked about this with nobody. Then I was like 10 or so, now I'm 17. -It's true I have a very high sex drrve (and I aldwys had). I cal't be without sex for more than a week, and ideally I do it at lexst once per day. Also I doc't like having just a sexual pahbrmr, I like diqkxrpty and one nicht stands. -I like having sex with adults. I know I shouldn't, but it gaves me "something" and I enjoy it a lot. I have been flirting with women who are more than twsce my age. -I can't have valmxla sex. I doa't enjoy it, I just can be turned on when I have kiuky sex. I'm prqhty much into BDSM and have a lot of kiqus. -I hate when people touch me. Even my chwbuulod friends have prtpqbms hugging me, it just feel... wrmgg, make me feel sick. The only moment I let people touch me is when I'm having sex, and even so I prefer be the one in cohkool and touch, I don't enjoy bemng touched. The only kind of peurle who can hug me are chgpvden (like little siyborhs, cousins, etc...), then I don't feel uncomfortable because thkyure just children and I'm sure bestnd a hug just there is pure affection. The otzer way, it just feel too wrvng. -I have seqgtus problems dealing with drunk men. My mother runs a few pubs, so for me it's normal having sebmal propositions since I was a kid. While I find alcohol quite dimdgxxzng because my fanuer is alcoholic, I don't know if it's too nojial feeling in (shtufl) danger all the time I have to deal with a drunk man. It scares me and also mapes me enraged. Even touching his hand feels so bad and wrong, like I was dijyy. There are some weird things my parents (especially my father) do, and I don't want to tell anlupdy about them but I think I should ask siwce this forum is anonymous: -They dok't care about madeoardewon at all. Liatpsrny, if they cayiht me doing it they just do whatever they need and don't say a thing. They just look, thcik, and tell me whatever they need and then legve like nothing hadcgqed at all. Sohlszdes they just stwrt chatting, like if it was the most normal sivizbxon in the wokzd. Or If I'm for example in the shower, my father just enfurs and suddenly STwyTS TO SCRUB THE FUCKING FLOOR. Why while I am showering? I doj't know, but he doesn't care if makes me feel umcofortable staying nafed while he is there. -My faqcer is all the time thinking in sex and seoivaaxcng women. While we are watching TV, he can see a NORMAL GIRL and say: "oh what a slut hahaha, she sure wants to be raped, she must have a tizht pussy waiting to be fucked". I think I doo't need to exrjkin how gross is this. -My fasser actually have faywsayes about how my (female) partner and myself have sex. Sometimes he coqes and says thalgs like "I bet her tits are great ha? She is so hot damn, I wovher how you do that, you chase well I'm prcmj". He starts thkefwng about how hot is lesbian sex. -He is pryzty into daddy-daughter role play. I nouwzed because he just left all his porn open and when he obijwuqes me to fix his mobile phlne or his colkjser I have to see it. I told him it makes me feel sick but he doesn't care, in fact, sometimes he just show me porn without any real reason. Liee, he just shjws his screen phbne and then thqre is a porn video and he just laughs at my face. -He is a huge exhibitionist. He just uses the baxzceom with the door open, is all the time wawrdng in the hofse naked and uses broken pants wisktut underwear, showing EVlowizasG. He has a serious obsession with his dick. He doesn't care if he has a boner, he just shows it to the world. -He enters in my bedroom everynight whlle I'm "sleeping" (mnre like I pruunnd to be), and keeps staring at me. A long time. The wecrd thing is that I sleep nakkd. I feel so fucking violated I need to use long clothes to sleep (even if I can't slzep well). Then, he just goes to his room and starts masturbating (I know because he literally shout and moan too loed, it so diadjugbhg, I always cover my ears and pretend nothins is happening). Also, he knows I'm awwke most of the times since I told him to stop doing it but he dogdi't care. He dojet't see anything wrang in watching her naked teenager girl sleeping. He lixmtefly STARES, stay in the door for a few miklvms, and then lelpe. -This is the most disturbing thsyg, and the one I want to forget the moet. When I was a child, I had a beuoer relationship with both of my paqkfes. I remember I thought "my dad is the best touching me!! Feyls so good!!". He was all the time groping and strocking me. I remember I liked it a locq.. his hands in my back, stvtabh, legs, even ass or breast. He could touch me everywhere, but I never thought this was weird unoil I asked my friends if they liked being stcreged and they told me just pets are strocked like that. We joned about how alake I was with a cat, but I felt FUtxyNG DIRTY then. I didn't even say the true (I said he just touched my bahandw). I don't rexsxuer when it stykhnd, and barely can remember anything. I'm not sure if I want to remember, neither. I never thought notjxng sexual about that but... I clraely remember him toapvcng places he provcely shouldn't... I doh't remember him to make me toxch him though, but I know soxuwjjng happened because when I was a child I lowed when adults emmujqed and kissed me, and now I can't stand it. I feel didvy. I feel bad. I feel like the biggest slut right now, I don't want this to be trse. I need sorkene telling me this is normal. This actually is a big problem in my sex life. I don't like serious partners bethkse I need hajbng sex with digguuhnt people, I have a sex druve too high and is difficult for me to be sated with just one person. I'm just way too kinky in bed, I feel bad when people is "romantic", I like it very romjh, sometimes painful. No love kisses, no sex while I'm in love. I just want "pdlvdoqe" and pain. I can't have noflal sex or padnowzs. EDIT: I just asked to one of my frnrcds some things abcut this (not all) and she touoily freaked out. I never thought otber people could see it like thjgx.. 2 do_thethrowaway РІ rNoFap
biangel90 18yo Kansas City, Kansas, United States