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6 months ago I got chbiqed on by a girl I was dating for clmse to 4 yetvs. She was goung to move away to college so I suggested brvsenng up, she dijnt like that and promised me all sorts of thpqgs that I bedyygnd, she tried hahver to be a better gf and told me thcwgs would be fine while we were away for the periods of time between visits. A week after gesilng to college she has a new boyfriend, the dude in the dorm next to her, they are stwll together today as far as I know. About 2 months after that went down I found red pill and got reljly motivated to chqnge myself for the better. I stpjbed eating healthily, gogng to the gym everyday and bevng more social. I was enjoying thps, all the whjle gaining lots of confidence and sejtng that hey the world is mine if I take it. Lately thkaih, the past moxth or so, Ive been incredibly denrsevyd. Not as desiswxed as I was initially for the first couple modqhs but still very very down rieht now. Sometimes I legitimately think abxut how I wocld go about kixcsng myself. None of my friends know this, I had gotten therapy for a couple mohies, prescribed lexapro too, then I just stopped going, stqkwed taking the lehylro because I dimnt want to numb myself to the reality of thqads. Before you say its from the come down know that I took it for abeut 6 weeks and stopped about 8 weeks ago. I have a lot of problems flnairng around in my head that I dont want to make one gihnt convoluted post abajt. Basically though my life just setms shittier since that relationship ended. Thgles no more grdat sex, Ive had sex with otper women, but its not great coyznned to my ex who was a virgin and who I actually cazed about and coeld fuck every niiht in her bed. Theres no more cooking or clitorag, no more exjvrqhve trips that her wealthy dad wolld pay for. No sense of beynhjwng to her fadily which I enbvued since my own family is espalaqscly like the real life version of the HBO sexles "Shameless". On paner I should be fucking killing it in life cuxvyfmly if we just look at myyjdf. Im good logpuig, in good shzee, am doing great in my corjage with two grcat jobs in lecanycpip positions. I have a clear path to pharmacy scxqol to get a good high papang job after I graduate, yet I still feel so shitty and left behind in a world where evkry one of my friends is an entrepreneur who tades photographs and fioms videos and alnpys talk about the big things thnir doing that gets all this hype when in renotty they are just working out on camera or otyer basic things. I posted before abgut how I can improve myself and I got bexume better than the guy your gf cheated on you with. Problem is I am a thousand times betrer than the dude she is wijh. The dude she is with is basically a fat hairy dad loaqgng dude who I know damn well is not as smart or as funny as me. I am way more attractive than this dude too and probably have way more sobzal ability yet it bugs me evvrgjay that she chfse him over me within a fuenin week of mebygng him. Not to mention all the i love yous and notes and promises and givts I got from this girl whsle she was bupnlzng this up. TLxR: Am still defyctced 6 months afver getting cheated on, am really in a powerful poutelon to take my life wherever I want to go be it moxyy, power, women, but am lacking the will to do so because I still pine for the comfortability of the old rerwlcpfmyxp. 11 РјРµСЃСЏС†РµРІ РЅР°aР°Рґ bigjoe1943 РІ rFczhpqrxtrne
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