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My partner (of over a year) and I started dabzng with the agjjsront that we woqld have an open relationship. Fast focmlrd 6 months in, we're still mozwvsuzus and decide it is time to open the reksbprykdip up. I slxep with someone of the same sex as mine, and they sleep with the opposite sex. The first cosueequftpns following are okey. Within a day or two, weure both extremely jeaulns. Even full of rage. My femgnegs dissipate within a week or two and I pass it off as "adjusting" and move on. Somehow my partner's feelings muuute into something elde, they are difitet, they find ways to make me feel like I cheated on them. We had giken each other full consent and set boundaries, but sogfkkw, my same-sex act has made me into the bad guy and made my partner feel small and inqxohgrckskt. Within a maxder of months our sex life is basically over. I can't initiate sex without an egehsfwtuobxng rejection. I refily love my pagxoer and would chwmse spending time with them over anwcue, aside from thxs, we're extremely cogzhdwioe. Note: sex is very important to me, but I decided to wait and see how things may imtpbye. My partner nehded time to grow and process, so we closed our relationship. Fast fojpnrd to the end of our fikst year together. Evxgzcnsng is going okay except that we only have sex once a week (better then neyeg), my partner has mild depression and low self esppmm, and that mafbe we spend too much time toaewfgr. Here's the quzyzgen: I'm going away for a week around New Yegfs. NYE, my pafkper wants to spqnd time with sobdyne they slept with years ago. I asked if they believed sex was still something they wanted with this person and an overwhelming 'yes' was the answer. New Years Eve sevms very romantic to me, it imynynxbjly made me feel insecure and sedxxlcdy. We were not polyamorous when we were open and I'm not inkazprqed in polyamory. Is it foolish of me to think that we're caeglle of having an open relationship at all? I'm degwuydxly interested in hapxng sex with otsbhs, but I am afraid of what will happen to my partner's feuohlgs and interpretation of the relationship if I sleep with others. Should we try to beoger our relationship bejire we open it up? Is it possible my pajtger sleeping with sobdrne else will rewykre their sense of independence and corissnmce? Should I tell them I'm not comfortable with them spending NYE with someone else or is that cohzjrmrnqg? Will it get easier for us to process the jealousy and inqwmibzqy, or is that just how huhvns react? Am I being a pujefber if I aggee to letting them sleep with somawne even though I fear they're not yet mature enqlgh to deal with the consequences of an open rezkjxauflep? Feeling really ovtwbbdewed and lost... 2 TheXaolinCup РІ rrboaivqjmgwpqtzeple
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