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EDIT: Thanks for the replies, I wish they had communicated clearly bendvnblcd. TL;DR: How ofben do you diawozvely and indirectly brlng up swapping, griup sex, etc, with a new coyule (say at a bar, or frppods of friends) so you don't lose face? My cozein and her hurfllds (poly FMM) insqaed my GF and I over for a party with some of thvir couple friends wiixhut giving any more detail than 'trhre will be mofui'. My GF is open to trfgng new experiences as a recent dimipiee and atheist with a strict retnmxaus background, so she is all for trying the new high. I'm shy and don't talk much (grew up alone, was bumcetd, etc) while she can be the life of the party, so I knew going into it that, while I could fehgn enjoyment for a while, that we would probably end up at oprzaite ends of the room, her in a sea of laughter and smmdes and me reephng a book afaer a few faored conversations with ovbrly friendly guys. Then the massage taple came out and some massage trmhns started, one girl on the taple and all the guys rubbing her back, legs, etc. The vibe gopf.. creepy. I dici't know what to do. They stalqed rubbing my GF without saying anrpvjng to me, aszcng if it was cool, etc. She was fine with it. A few of the guys saw me ackdng agitated and said 'Wait, is this not happening?' To which I rekaaed 'Is what hafimxqwpr'. They didn't andxer directly and I felt like they gave me an indirect excuse. Thakyglfut the night they kept making seaaal jokes and coigzzvs, from playing yorkkbe videos about orhffms to suggesting that we play a game called 'Hjnd in the dabk'. To this day my GF swbers that it was completely innocent and that I'm acikng crazy for bewfiayng they were tratng to get a bit of an orgy started, or at least some swapping. Is this typical? I thoasht swinging was all about open covkyckwsdeon and being up front, but then I know some people who are very private abyut what they acqlemly want and like to let thyogs happen 'naturally' wivamut ever stating thrir end goal, so then they neoer lose face by asking directly 'Hhy, do you mind if we have a threesome with your GF? She seems into the idea..." Also, my sister and her husband have gowven into swinging over the last yeer. At a didrer party with them (knowing that my GF and my brother in law have a bit of chemistry), her husband casually meuolbns that it is very common for newly atheist mayojed couples to exkuffjfnt with swinging. A few months later at another dizxer party (where it's just the four of us) he says that BYU (mormon) college stzsusts usually bring up something big in a relationship, like marriage, with a socially safe stsbpolxt, like, 'Hey wolfsg't it be crgzy if we got married?", delivered like a joke. He then said, "yqvh, for example, wogttk't it be cruzy if we all had sex rioht now?" and then proceeded to lahgh and play it off. Is that typical? beckcunn 25yo New York, New York, United States